Jesus, with the example of a parable, invites his apostles to consider the stance of service: the servant should fulfill his duties without expecting any reward: «Do you thank this servant for doing what you commanded?» (Lk 17:9).
Jesus says we should not expect thanks. This may seem harsh, but in fact it is what sets us free. If I expect gratitude I am automatically a beggar. I can only sit and wait in hope that someone will give it to me. Like any beggar I could ask for it, but asking ruins this particular commodity. Thanks that I have to ask for, is not really thanks.
Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed: that is what we have often been told. If you are taken for granted, that is a kind of compliment. We take most real things for granted: we don't thank the walls of our house for holding up the roof and keeping the weather out; we don't thank the trees or the birds of the air; we don't thank the well for the water: we turn our backs on it when we have satisfied our thirst.
Should children thank their parents? We are always saying they should, but that ‘should’ makes beggars of their parents. Let them learn to say the polite thing to strangers, but don't imagine that they should pay you with that kind of small change. If their gratitude isn’t spontaneous it is not gratitude at all.
There is tremendous freedom when we expect nothing. Because we expect nothing, we do what we do for the right motive: which is simply that it is the right thing to do. And when we finish doing it, we don't hang around like beggars waiting for the chance of a few coins. A rabbi said that the perfect kind of generosity was when the giver didn’t know who was receiving and the receiver didn’t know who was giving. Then the giver is not burdening the receiver with a debt of gratitude, and the receiver can see right through the giver (who is invisible) to God, the ultimate giver.
For all those who believe, everything is a sign, for all those who love, everything is a gift. Working for God's Kingdom is already a great reward. So let’s seek the reward – only Jesus himself who washed his disciples feet and got renounced by them.
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From the nature of things, we should not really expect or worse demand gratitude from those we extend kindness to.
ReplyDeleteSt Paul reminds us that all that we have comes from God as a gift, so that no one will boast he is better than the next man. Therefore the kindness we give to others - nay, our very disposition to be kind - are themselves God's gifts. We should then be grateful to God instead.
But our gratitude to God should be humble, as shown by King David - "who am I and my people, that we should be able to offer as generously as this; for all comes from you and of your own we have given."
Thank you Fr Jacob for sharing both your spiritual and practical wisdom - gifts of God to you. I pray that you will always exercise this gift in as best way God's grace would bestow on you.
This is for all of us to meet God's direction, "If your gift is teaching, do it well."